What the 2020?!?!?

TW: this blog post mentions pandemic-related issues and mentions of police brutality

Okay, maybe 2020 is not what we all thought it was going to be. If you asked me back in the wee hours of January 1st what this year was going to be like, I would have said, "It's going to be amazing! It's a new year, a new decade, and we're going to see some much needed change in the world." Well, we got that change...in the form of a pandemic called COVID-19. It was discovered in 2019, but at that point, it was not even really as big of a deal as it eventually got. 

I am not going into too much detail on COVID, the outbreak, the shutdowns, and everything else because we all have had it. There is so much information out there being ignored (i.e. safety measures) and a lot more misinformation being spread as quickly as the virus. Some people think it's all hoax (187 other countries beg to differ), some people think it's just a flu (13 million people worldwide beg to differ), and now we have grown adults making such a big deal over wearing a little face mask for just a short period of their day (surgeons, doctors, nurses, and other professionals who have had to wear masks for their jobs for the last several decades all beg to differ). Something about "personal freedoms" or whatever. 

What we do know is that the numbers are increasing at alarming rates. We were doing so well, and then BOOM! Memorial Day happened. BOOM! Fourth of July happened. Businesses started opening up way too early and more people are getting sick. On top of that, Black Lives Matter skyrocketed as a movement! All 50 states and 18 other countries have been having massive protests following the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and countless other people of color who have been killed by police (Breonna Taylor's murderers have still not been arrested yet).

If anybody needs any documentary recommendations, I highly recommend 13th on Netflix. It is about how mass incarceration came to be and how people of color are disproportionately represented in the prison population. It dives into various eras of American history (i.e. Slavery, post-Civil War, Jim Crow, today) and presents so much new information that is very eye-opening. If you haven't seen it yet, then it's a must-see. It was directed by Selma director Ava DuVernay. There is even an interview she did with Oprah that's a good way of still retaining the information while also calming down a bit after the ending (there is some very graphic footage shown of police brutality with permission of the families). It was a much needed punch in the gut, to say the least.

Moving on to everyday life...there is none. I have not left my apartment yet. I was hoping to have moved to Cincinnati, where I'd be working with any of the theatre companies in some form. Unfortunately, I have decided to stay safe and keep living in Berea for the time being. If the opportunity presents itself to where I can work remotely full-time and it is safe enough to relocate, I will do so. Right now is not the best time, as I had hoped. Right now, we would have been gearing up for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, which have been postponed. The Olympic Trials in St. Louis have been postponed to next year. I still have tickets for that with hopes that everything will be safe by next summer. Who knows?

As for theatre, the dinner show I was in ended up being a success. I had a lot of fun acting with Adventure Theatre. We performed in various restaurants all over central Kentucky. I finally got to make my Lexington acting debut and we even ended our run in Berea, of all places. For once, I got to the local cast member, and what a performance that was. We had the best audience that night (my parents were there) and it was just an evening full of laughter. I'd love to work with them again...when the 'rona is gone. 

Everything will happen when the 'rona is gone or at least at the point where it's safe to be out and about. I have been able to see my parents from time to time, but I am still trying to stay distant since I still have a restaurant job. Being in constant contact with the public can be stressful, but nowhere near the stress levels of doctors, nurses, and other medical staff. They're doing the brunt work of this pandemic and I'm very grateful for them. With that in mind, I need to get tested again soon. Better be safe than sorry.

End of the Decade Review

After a long hiatus, I am back on my blog for one final time in the 2010s to recap this roller coaster of a decade. I mean, it's been the most transforming and wild decade compared to the 1990s and the 2000s, during which I was a child. This will be a year-by-year replay of the most important events from the last ten years.

2010: Holy wow! I was 16 years old. I had my driver's permit and had barely driven twenty minutes (period). Hormones got crazier. I probably got a lot moodier and "angsty." I fought with friends and made up (thank goodness because they were pretty important to me). SAYF had completely taken over my time and care. I saw Wicked for the third time. I was also in our school's production of The Wizard of Oz as Uncle Henry, the Oz Guard, and the Winkie General. That was when I realized that I truly loved theatre and was going to miss doing a show when it was all over. I also started the yearlong quest towards a national cheerleading title and joined the high school varsity cheerleading team. I believe this was also the year my obsession with Twilight started fading. We also got the white Christmas of my dreams that December.

2011 - We won the National Title!!! Yes, this was easily one of the top three moments from all of 2011. After a long and difficult season, we came out on top at Myrtle Beach and went home with a trophy, jackets, and a shiny medal. The last Harry Potter movie came out and I went to my first midnight release. This was also the year I became a senior in high school, took a couple of college classes, and had Danish Gymnastics reenter my life for the next four/five years. This was also the time when I was in my first relationship (of five weeks...yeah). I started my obsession with NCAA gymnastics this year. We also had an apocalypse on the way.

2012 - The world ended. Just kidding. We survived (I guess). After five years, I finally placed individually at our academic team Governor's Cup District Tournament and went to Regionals for the first time since 2007 (then placed 8th in both of my written assessments and felt proud). I was in my last high school production (Neil Simon's The Odd Couple). I graduated from high school. I graduated from SAYF (and fully sobbed for the first time in about five years). I enjoyed a fun summer before starting the Journey Towards the Bachelors Degree. I moved out of my house for the first time ever and into the dorm. The last Twilight movie came out as did the first Hunger Games. I also obsessed over gymnastics at the 2012 Olympics in London.

2013 - College continued. I performed in my first college theatre production (Larry Kramer's The Normal Heart), where I had three whole lines, but then worked the rest of the show as part of the scene crew/props master. The show was a hit and we even had protesters opening night. So cool! Oh yeah, and some rising gymnast named Simone Biles started her dominance. 

2014 - This was a pretty substantial year. We had a lot of snow that winter. I was in a super huge production of Jesus Christ Superstar, which was Berea College's first (and only?) fully sold out production. That summer, I went to New York City for the very first time and did an awesome one night reading at the Dramatists Guild of America. Cinderella was my very first Broadway show followed by a splendid performance of The Cripple of Inishmaan, which starred one Daniel Radcliffe. 

2015 - This was a much bigger year than 2014. I was in a fun production of The Great American Trailer Park Musical, for which I was an understudy for two main roles (and I got to perform a lead role for the first time ever). That summer was the absolute best I ever had. I was fortunate to study abroad in Greece for five weeks (with a four day trip to London, England beforehand). I saw a couple of West End shows in London (Mamma Mia and Wicked for the fourth time), visited the Acropolis (feat. the Parthenon and the Theater of Dionysus), and made my pilgrimage to modern and ancient Olympia (the year before the next Olympics). I also started my senior year of college.

2016 - This was it. The final year of my academic career. I finished strong with Danish Gymnastics (and sobbed while hugging my mom after my last performance because she was the one who told me about it when we moved to Berea in 2001 and I started at 8 years old). I walked across the same stage that I did for my high school graduation (small town life) four years earlier and got my actual, real-life college diploma. I had my Bachelors Degree in Theatre and I was done with school forever!!! I also started working my first two post-grad jobs, the second of which I still have. I even moved into my first apartment in December and performed in my first show with Spotlight all in the same day! Oh yeah, Simone Biles and Aly Raisman ruled Rio 2016.

2017 - I continued performing in dinner shows and productions like Clue, The Carol Burnett Show, Charlotte's Web, and Elf. I also went back to NYC for a week long vacation (after three shows back to back). I saw ALL of the shows (i.e. Dear Evan Hansen, Hello, Dolly!, Waitress, Beautiful: the Carole King Musical, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Wicked for the fifth time, but first time in New York). I got to see amazing friends while in the city as well. I finally got my driver's license too!!!

2018 - This was the toughest year of the decade. I had some huge highs like getting my first ever professional acting gig, but the lowest of the lows came in the same week as the show when my only grandmother Gloria passed away. My family is still grieving her loss even almost two years later. Still, life went on. I got the chance to perform in a local production of Joe DiPietro's Over the River and Through the Woods, where my character had FOUR grandparents and I sobbed during closing night, which I believe was really the beginning of my grieving process, albeit it was a few months after her passing. Then, our long time family cat Butter passed away after having some health issues in his old age. That Christmas, his ornament had a special place on our tree. On the bright side, Simone Biles came back to competition.

2019 - Things got better after two major deaths, and then my beloved aunt Darlene (my dad's sister) passed away, which was another punch in the gut because we always visited her and her family at Christmas. Our trips to Columbus will never be the same since we've learned they've sold her house. Life can really suck sometimes, but we have to move on. A positive was that I started auditioning and applying for jobs in Cincinnati with hopes of eventually moving there. I've done more fun shows (i.e. Spamalot and The Drowsy Chaperone) and booked a gig through an audition (details to come in 2020). 

The 2010s has been quite the decade, with the last few years being the most monumental for me and my family. I cannot wait to see what the 2020s bring us. It'll be an interesting time, for sure. Will we finally have our first female President after 100 years since the women's suffrage movement? Will Simone Biles be the most decorated gymnast of all time? Will I move out of my hometown? Will more '80s sitcoms be rebooted and cancelled on Netflix? Stay tuned, I guess. Until then...HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Annnnnnd I'm back!

WOW! What a year 2019 has been! I have gotten into so many fun projects, endeavors, hijinks, etc. since 2018 ended. The year started off, you guessed it, BUSY! The first show I was in was a local production of Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest. It was such an experience. I had the honor and privilege of rehearsing and playing as the lead role Jack Worthing from early January all the way through early March. Two solid months of rehearsing almost six days a week. There was so much detail that went into every aspect of the production, which made me very happy as an artist. "Twas a smashing success.

After that show, I immediately went into our production of Spamalot, in which I played Patsy (YAY!), the Mayor of Finland, and Guard 2 for the hilarious Herbert/Lancelot love scene. It ended up being one of the funniest shows we've done at Spotlight and all of the main players were involved. 

Around the same time, I also had my post-college directorial debut in Spotlight's annual Festival of Short Plays. This particular show was full circle for me as well as the playwright. This was a short play called Sheltered Secrets by local Berea playwright and artist Patricia Watkins. It was initially written as part of a Kentucky Women's Playwrights Seminar project that had a reading in New York City at the Dramatists Guild of America. I was a part of the original project and read as the role of Baby in May 2014. 

Fast forward FIVE years and I discover it was selected for the 2019 Festival of Short Plays. I knew I wanted to be in it and reprise my role as Baby. I just didn't know that I would end up directing it as well with some very talented performers (all of whom I had worked with prior). It was a bit of a challenge because I hadn't directed since the one time I directed a final 10 minute play for a Principles of Directing course in college. After realizing my vision and collaborating with everybody, my job was not that difficult. It was a blast helping this ten minute play finally have its world premiere stage production five years after its first public reading. 

All the while, the message was so important to me. Sheltered Secrets is about four shelter dogs, all of whom have either been abandoned or on the streets. I had decided that we would personify them a bit with the costumes, but move and interact like dogs. This was to allow the human audience to empathize and sympathize with these characters on a personal level regardless of them being different species. It was a show that was not only good or even great. This show was special. It meant something to us actors, the playwright, and the audience, and that is what i love about theatre. It can be escapism, absurdist, or the most real thing that makes people uncomfortable, but necessary for them to hear, see, and feel. 

Fun fact: the actress who read the role of Queenie with me in New York was in attendance that night, so it was super fun having not just one, but TWO original "Broadway" cast members there. 

Now, I am just juggling my main day job with rehearsals for The Drowsy Chaperone and Finally!, a Broadway revue (both of which open and run back-to-back-to-back-to back weekends in September...YAY!). I also started a new part time job with the Spotlight Acting School as a recruiter, which has been super fun so far. I have been visiting daycare centers and attended an event and I'm planning more activities for future dates...all while trying to pace myself and not burn out like the millennial I am. 

So, my 2019 has been really great, but also kinda not because a really close aunt passed away recently from the same disease that affected my grandmother, so it's also a trying time for my family. However, we're strong and full of love, so we have been able to cope pretty well. 

Okay, now is the time for the Braden, Write a Blog Post Before Six Months Pass By Again Challenge. 

3...2...1...so long, 2018!

Well, here we are. It is the final day of the eighteenth year of the twenty-first century, the eighteenth year of the third millennium AD. What a year it has been for me, my family, and the world. I usually like to spend New Year's Eve reflecting on the last 364(5 during leap years) days and seeing where my life was one whole year ago. 

While I usually feel like not a whole lot has changed, this time of reflection ends up revealing SO MUCH. As It turns out, there were some major moments that happened and I have much to be proud of this year. I may have some goals I did not achieve, but that doesn't mean I'll never get to achieve them. It just means it's not time yet. That is why I reflect and then look forward to the coming year ahead. 

Just as a refresher, I am going through some pretty important events that happened in 2018:

January - Judge Rosemarie Aquilina was the #1 judge all year with how she handled the case involving That Doctor Man. She was an advocate and a hero for sexual abuse survivors, and that is something to celebrate forever (I dressed up as her for Halloween this year too).

UK Gymnastics also started their best season ever in Rupp Arena for the first time. 

February - I performed in one of my all time favorite productions (Ma Rainey's Black Bottom). The show was hugely successful and an overall amazing experience that I'll remember for a very long time. I even made some pretty cool friends and fellow alums in the process.

On a much sadder note, I lost my beautiful grandmother Gloria, the only grandparent I had the privilege of knowing in my lifetime. She was a rock for our family. Losing her was truly devastating, but I know my family is much stronger from it. 

On another happier note, Adam Rippon won the Olympics. Not just his bronze, but the whole Olympics!

April - I performed in my first Spotlight Playhouse show (A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum) in several months, and it was so nice doing another one with my friends!

UK qualified a full team to NCAAs for the first time ever! UCLA won the 2018 NCAA Gymnastics title with their sixth year senior Peng Peng Lee scoring two 10's on bars and beam to clinch the victory.

May/June - I picked up another show with Rose Barn Theatre (Over the River and Through the Woods) and it was definitely my most cathartic experience. The show dealt with a grandson making a tough decision to move across the country away from his grandparents, and I had still been working through losing Grandmother. Our last regular performance ended with me in tears and breaking down in the most emotional moment of the whole show, and I am so happy with that. Theatre isn't just dressing up and reciting lines. It's life and the experience of living. 

Oh yeah, I also went to Canada for two hours when my family visited Niagara Falls. 

July - My longtime most favorite furry friend Butter was put to sleep at the age of 15. He was the best cat ever and he rightfully got the top center spot on our family Christmas tree this year. 

September/October - A certain SCOTUS hearing revitalized the conversation on sexual assault and rape culture and I opened up about a part of my childhood that I had never revealed to anybody. I feel so much better about it and it no longer bothers me. 

October - I turned 25 and started my quarter life crisis!

December - I did a '40's Christmas radio show with Spotlight and it was super nice creating more art before the year was over. Bonus: the second performance date marked a double two-year anniversary (1. Me performing with Spotlight and 2. Me living on my own in my apartment). 

Well, 2018 was quite the year for me. Now, I wonder how 2019 will turn out. Here are some goals and resolutions I have in mind:

1. Continue to grow as an artist and have many more opportunities that further my career.

2. Continue to love my family and  friends and keep them close. 

3. Figure out the next important steps I want/need to take in my life...and take them! 

4. Maybe another trip to New York or even a trip to somewhere I haven't visited yet.

5. Focus on my body and my soul a little more and treat them with the respect they deserve. 

6. More gymnastics! I want to try new things and stop doubting myself. If I'm landing on a squishy mat, it'll be okay as long as I don't land on my head!

7. Read more books and plays. I'm still allowing the post-college literature fatigue get to me and I need to just erase that from my being and just pick up a book and read!

8. Get around to my Film Bucket List. I still have yet to watch Citizen Kane and Casablanca. 

9. Explore more in the kitchen and try new recipes. Also, bake more!

10. Be more in the present and stop thinking I need to have a phone in my hand to pass the time. 

I'm sure there are more things, but those are the main ones I have been thinking about for a long time and I just wanted to share a little bit. With that, I don't think I have much else to say except I hope everybody had a fulfilling 2018 and that 2019 will be even better!

Happy New Year, everyone!

A whoie lot of downtime, holidays, and a show?!?

So, it's been over two months since my last post. A lot more happened, which is fun and exciting. For starters, I was in my first show in several months. I have also continued to audition for more shows and apply for a few more jobs. It's been a...promising job, I guess you could say. 

Halloween was a thing. I revived my Tina Belcher costume for trick or treat, but was ultimately the Honorable Queen Judge Rosemarie Aquilina for 2018, and she praised my costume on Twitter and we exchanged a few tweets. It. Was. GLORIOUS! Thanksgiving was also a thing and I ate way too much (surprise surprise). 

Now, it is almost Christmas. It's been a lovely festive season thus far. I have only a couple more presents to get for the morning of the 25th. I have watched the usual many Christmas episodes of my favorite shows and cartoons, and I am almost done with it because it is the 20th. 

Among all this festiveness, I was a part of Spotlight's Old Christmas Radio Show, which was really fun. The rehearsal process lasted only a week and I had a couple of solos as well. The second performance coincided not only with the two year anniversary of me living on my own in my apartment, but also the two year anniversary of my first opening night at the Spotlight Playhouse. It was very ironic that I was performing in a Christmas show when my first show with them was, you guessed it, a Christmas show. You gotta love Christmas anniversaries.

Now, it's crunch time, but the best kind of crunch time. It's Christmas, which means parties upon parties, gatherings, dinners, and presents galore. Most importantly, it is a time to be with family and friends and cherish one another. I am really excited for Saturday, specifically, because my family is having a huge dinner because this will be the first Christmas since my Grandmother died. It will be very special. 

Before I leave, I must mention that I have also decorated a bunch, including my family's Christmas tree. We have had an ornament with a picture of our cat Butter (RIP) on it and that made the top center spot, right under the angel, because it's what he deserves. I wish we had an ornament with my Grandmother's picture because it'd be right up there as well. Maybe some day.

Well, a lot has happened, but then again, not...

Everything is still a big ole garbage fire. Supreme Court stuff, local town politics stuff, I'm still auditioning way more than I am performing (but that's the biz), and my dead bolt's lock decided it had enough. So far, being 25 is....yeah. Just yeah.

On a much brighter note, I DID turn 25 yesterday and I spent it with family and friends. I got some sweet presents, ate some yummy food, decorated more for Halloween, and ended up having a blast playing mini golf and arcade games. I won enough tickets to get a Gingerbread Man (Shrek) plushie and it was the best thing ever. It was just one of those days where there was not a huge blowout party with all the people ever, but that wasn't necessary. I had the best day in a while because I was with people I love and I may have won mini golf with a 14 over par. 

Now that I am past my birthday (but not yet done eating cake), I am looking forward to auditioning for a production of Mamma Mia this weekend. I feel like with every single audition I attend, I'm getting closer and closer to landing a role with a company that isn't Spotlight. I love Spotlight so much, and I definitely do plan on performing more with them, but I want to continue expanding my boundaries as far as where I perform and what kind of shows I do. 

I want to be able to market myself to a broader audience and have those meaningful artistic experiences with other people. I know it will happen when the time is right. I have started considering some major plans. I am not sure how or when it will all happen, but if my tarot reading from last night is any indicator, I will have some new experiences coming my way in the near future and they will be exciting and fulfilling. I guess we'll see...

2018 is cancelled

Along with the world almost literally blowing up, tensions among nations with the President's "duties," we all know the year 2018 is a garbage fire. To make matters worse, I have now had to say goodbye to two beloved family members, one human and one feline. Yes, the death of my Grandmother is probably more important since she ultimately is the reason I exist (other than my mom, who's her daughter). However, your pet is as much of a member of the family as you are, especially when they're rescued. 

Rescue animals deserve so much love and care, and they will love you back. We first go Butter (there was a yellowish tint where his orange and white fur blended) when a friend of my brother's discovered him on top of a spare tire under a truck in our school parking lot. He was brought home to us when we had only been living in our main family home for about six months. My mom figured that he was about eight weeks old, so we determined his birthday to be August 18. From there on, Butter grew up in front of our eyes. It seemed like time flew by and it was just reality that he had some health issues. He gradually lost his cat ability to jump up onto counters and needed to be picked up more. He was never really moving too slow. He seemed okay, even though he had an overactive thyroid. It was like things were kind of normal.

Then, the day came for my parents to consider options...and the best choice was to have him put to sleep. When I received the "We need to talk to you about Butter" message, I just knew. When I got to my parents' and found them cleaning...that confirmed it. It just didn't hit me until my mom had told me in person. It hurt knowing that he was probably in pain and that he was not long from naturally passing away. 

It seemed sudden to me because I thought he had a little more time left, so I never really got to say goodbye, and that's probably what sucks the most. It's nobody's fault. I was at work when it happened, and there was no way for me to just leave. I don't think I would have wanted to be at the vet's, but it would have brought a bit of closure to at least see him off and give him love one final time. Alas, I have the memories and the five stages of grief running through me all at once. I know I'll be okay, but it still doesn't seem real yet, especially the same year my Grandmother died. The ornament with his picture on it will definitely be in a special place this Christmas. 

I don't know if I will personally want a cat when I live somewhere that allows them. When you have the perfect one for the entirety of his life, it doesn't get much better than that. I am comforted, though. He was with his pal Tiger probably lying in a cardboard box eating Fancy Feast because it's what they deserve for eternity. And that's nice.